February 2012
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“I guess the first step to losing yourself in your disease is the idealization of...”
– Unknown (via sickly-thin)
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“Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and...”
– Haruki Murakami (via miror)
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fuck
it
all
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red knuckles
my mind: you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat. you're so fucking fat.
me: I know
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Therapist: You always seem to impress me with how introspective you are - how you're able to articulate how you feel. Why do you think that is?
Me: I guess spending so much time in your own head brings about this sort of rawness in you. When you feel like this, you always imagine what you'd say to someone if you could get the words out. But you never do. So you carry them around with you, day in and day out. The secrets become a part of you.
Not all of us are on the pursuit of happiness, you know. Some of us are too far gone.
January 2012
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It’s reached the stage where I’m embarrassed to even drink tea in front of people - consumption of any food or drink at all in the presence of others is out of the question, water alone being more than enough. I can feel my arms already much, much bigger.
I’m exhausted already, and things were really beginning to look up lately.
